While Maintaining your Peace and Sanity

Divorce is overwhelming.

I get it. You are in it, and now you want out. Here is a quick summary of how to get out without losing your sanity - you take it one day at a time. And on some days, you take it one hour at a time. And during some hours, one minute at a time. It is overwhelming to do something that you probably have never done before. You may be feeling the weight of the world and hearing all the opinions that come with a difficult life event. The best thing you can do is take care of your mental, physical, and emotional health.

Not only can divorce wreak havoc on your finances, but also your emotional and mental well-being. It is one of the hardest things to do, and I hate that you are going through this.

I did not grow up around divorce. We did not have family friends who went through divorce, so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. My spouse handled most of our finances, and I was a stay-at-home mother. I had 3 small children and did not have a career. What was I thinking? The contemplation of leaving grew, and I reached a place where I did not see things improving. I did not want a broken family, but I did not want a house full of strife. My religion, people's opinions, and my children's future all weighed heavily on my decision of what to do. How could I move forward with this?

I didn’t want to enter those woods. I didn’t want the uncertainty. I told myself I was content where I was, yet a quiet misery lingered over my comfort. The ways I tried to cope with that misery weren’t healthy, and eventually the only direction I could see wasn’t up—it was out.

And so, I found myself venturing into the land of the unknown. Contemplations of whether this was the right choice consumed me, especially as my marriage approached its end. Seeking counseling and confiding in my best friend became regular rituals, as I sought advice. Ultimately, the decision rested with me. The counsel I received urged me to set a date – a point to reevaluate. If things didn't improve, it was time to make a change.

As the days passed, I grappled with the looming question: Which was worse? The potential for alcoholism, affairs, and divorce all rolled around in my mind.

So I asked myself, “What was best for me and my family?”

I chose to step out.

Every situation is unique, but one thing remains true—divorce is beyond difficult. I believe it was more difficult than the marriage itself.

The purpose of this writing is to remind you that you are not alone during this challenging time. My goal is to help you feel supported when you feel isolated, organized when life feels chaotic, and empowered when you feel at your weakest.

I hope my words bring you comfort, knowing that you are navigating this process in the best way possible. My mission is to share what I have learned and offer the best guidance. To me, being "the best" means embracing every situation with as much grace as possible while striving for inner peace. If you can do this while maintaining your sanity—and I believe you can—you will emerge stronger on the other side.